oh. I still have a blog. (?)

Guess I should get back into blogging, yes? Only, my life is very boring these days. School is… okay. Two of my classes are awesome. Lewis and Clark still makes me feel slightly homicidal, but I’m emailing the director of my program and the dean of the social sciences department later to vent express my concerns. The email will not include the words *stab* *spork* or *eyeball*,  or the phrases *stab with* *a spork* *in his eyeball*, despite that I do just that in my cartoon world every time I think about the class (LIKE RIGHT NOW).

My cartoon world is in my head, so you can’t watch any episodes with me. Sorry. The gist of it is, I’m a ninja-super spy and I am single-handedly eliminating stupid from the world, one annoying person at a time. Sometimes I have help, but mostly I’m a lone ranger. I don’t abuse my powers. Only legitimate cases make it into the cartoon.

In semi-related news, I have to watch clips of Ken Burns’ L&C documentary for class. Honestly? I really do like Mr. Burns’ work. (eeeeeeecellent.) I do not like watching it in 30 minute segments as it always feels excruciatingly boring, and just as I start to get into it, the clip ends. *spork* *meet* *eyeball*

Back to the point. Yesterday I was watching (yet another) clip and the narrator (who sounds enough like Kevin Costner that sometimes all I can hear is “tatonka! tatonka!” and then I have another cartoon episode…) mentioned that L&C were the first to explore the area.

Thor was hovering around and was very impressed with that fact. So naturally, I had to burst his bubble and explain that it was lies!lies!lies! as there were already people living in the area. Only, white people didn’t really care what the Native Americans thought because of the inherent racism of the era. It’s tricky to explain something like racism to a 5-year-old. I could have done better, but I’m also trying to stick to the point so that you’ll read to the end.

His only response? “Mama, what are white people?”

“Uh… (Oh, good grief! How do I answer this? Do I go science-y on him? Good God, I don’t like pointing out skin color as something that makes people ‘different’, even though in this country it still has a huge impact on our life experiences… Oh, sweet baby J, help me out here!…  Just make the phone ring! … No? Fine! I’ll answer him myself, no thanks to you. *Mental mumble and grumble*) White people have the lightest skin tones.”

“Well… then what are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re lighter than white. I’m white. But you are not white.”

So, apparently my own flesh and blood thinks I’m too pale to be considered white.

A big eff-you to Seattle winters.

And now I’ll be taking my glaringly white self out into the sun, where I will not sparkle, despite my (extreme lack of) coloring. I’ll be wearing sunscreen and a big hat because my skin only does pale and RED. And RED doesn’t look good on anyone. Ever.

ETA: He has made it known in no uncertain terms that my leg is too scratchy. Mama missed a patch of leg hair. As in my entire left leg below the knee. Nothing compares to the effect a brutally honest preschooler can have on one’s self-esteem. At least there is no judgement or malice in his tone when he’s busy picking my appearance apart.  Le sigh.

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2 thoughts on “oh. I still have a blog. (?)

  1. Bwahahahaha!!! Gotta love the honesty of kids 🙂

    If it makes you feel any better – if he thinks you are pale, he’ll probably be blinded when he sees me 🙂

    • He’ll also feel the need to inform you of your height, which you might not have noticed otherwise. And that will lead him to announcing (again) that he’ll probably be taller than me by the time he’s 8. Equal parts sad and true. lol

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