responsibility sucks. sometimes.

I just sent an email that I’ve been debating sending since the middle of February. It was the right thing to do, but it also means that I don’t get to do something that a really, really, REALLY want to do. It being the right thing to do does not diminish the level of suckitude of the situation.

 

apt.

 

I’ll be running the half instead of the full marathon in June. I spent 5-6 weeks rehabbing my left leg from mid-February to early April. At that point training was still tweakable and according to the numbers I would still be able to run the full. Only, I’m not numbers on paper. I just don’t have that much faith in my joints/tendons/ligaments/bastard hamstrings.

Honestly? I’m bummed about this.

But.

Since January, when the individual race fees started flowing into my paypal account, my responsibilities have been to my teammates. For me, that really cuts the sting. I (rightly) refrained from jumping back into the thick of my training plan in April. I might be slow on the uptake regarding piling on miles, but I’m not a complete idiot. It only took a battle with ITBS in each leg for me to get the message. I continue to perform my stupid strengthening exercises.

Will I be in the best shape and completely prepared for running 30+ miles in 24 hours? Physically, I will be in the best shape I can get my legs into before July. It makes me nervous that I won’t have run a marathon before going into Ragnar. Mentally, of course I won’t be prepared. Can you prepare for something like this mentally?

Sometimes that is for the best.

 

For me, it’s better not to know. Not that I don’t spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about random details about a thousand random aspects of what I think might happen come July.

 

In the mean time, I’ll be hitting the trails with Tara Two. And writing the remaining 43 pages standing between me and the end of the quarter. That’s cumulative, and of course I actually added it up. I’m pretty sure I’m developing a callous on one of my fingers from all the typing. Which might be a contributing factor to my lack of blogging lately. My brain is fried.

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4 thoughts on “responsibility sucks. sometimes.

  1. So the right decision. But totally hear you that it doesn’t make it any easier. I know you’ll be glad of the decision, though, especially when you look back after Ragnar. (Ragnar!!)

  2. Definitely a tough decision to make, but is sounds like the right one for you right now. I’m right at the tipping point of making the same decision about my marathon that’s on June 18. I’ve got a 16 mile run planned for this weekend, and this is going to be my do-or-die run. If my knee can’t handle it, I’ll be doing the half. If my knee plays nicely, I’ll go for the full monty.

    As much as I’d LOVE to do this marathon, right now my priority is staying healthy for Ragnar so I can be there running strong with all my awesome teammates 🙂

    Just remember what I’ve kept telling myself lately – there’s always another race, there’s always another race, there’s always another race…

    • I hope your run goes well. There will be hundreds more races if I take care of myself along the way, and I would rather run a fall marathon anyway. Right? Right.

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